March 7, 2011

Surrendering Control

Sometimes I can get so mad at myself, like yesterday. I am such a perfectionist; everything has to be neat and in it's place. I need to look perfect, my room needs to be perfect, my homework and assignments need to be the best...the lists goes on. Everything needs to run on a set schedule; if I'm behind schedule, I freak out. I am really a control freak. Yesterday, I was realizing my need to control things, when I felt God asking me why I was putting such a burden on myself.

I can't explain why I have such a need to be in control and be perfect. I know I will never attain perfection and things aren't going always go my way. But I think that maybe at the root of my problem is my need for affection and being accepted. I want others to notice me and love me. But God has been teaching me to surrender control to Him. I can never pretend to have things under my own, pathetic idea of control. He is almighty God; how could I ever do His job?

Are there any of you out there like me? Maybe not exactly like me, because I know I am kinda crazy, lol, but perhaps you've experienced some of the same things? I pray that God will continue to reveal to me, and anyone like me, His awesome peace and power. What a comfort it is to know that He will always love me and accept me for who I am and that I do not need to be perfect!

Love,
Megan


Megan Brainerd, from New York, is a busy nursing student who loves to hang out with her friends, read, and play the piano :) Her email is piano93@verizon.net.

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